A step-by-step guide to attain Barra-thee-ya-thaa.:
1. Not taking Indian citizenship for 18 years.
2. Allowing your sister's company to pilfer ancient statues and heritage material to be sold in curio shops around Europe.
3. Giving your brother-in-law (Quad-roach-chhi) unfettered access to your PM husband, then extend it to the PMO, the bureaucracy, till he starts to dictate their official letters.
4. Stake a claim to PM-ship, then quietly back out when the president points out that the clauses in Indian constitution that do not allow you to hold office.
5. Appoint a puppet (a man who even looks and squeaks like a puppet. OK. OK, that was below the belt, but couldn't help it. That's what 10 years of continued corruption does.).
6. Take the entire power out of the puppet. Bypass files, allow him to read only fiction. There is no shorter way of owning a country than by owning its official secrets. It gives you the capability to destroy institutions at will.
7. Appoint minions at strategic places to loot and share the spoils. Leave a hole in the country's economy. Telecom, coal, sports, local administration ...... don't leave out any of the country's resources. Everything is money.
8. Allow your son-in-law unfettered access .......... (same as para 3 - and add land - give him all the land he points at).
9. Buy the 4th estate. Make them focus on the opposition.
10. Divide by religion and rule. Play up on the insecurities of the minority, and inflame the majority. The list cannot be complete without this.
Whew. Barra-thee-ya-thaa is hard work.