The desi “secularists” were at it again. The usual suspects from their lofty perches in tax-funded universities and research institutes were up in arms and frothing about “misuse of state machinery” and “naked state majoritarianism” (sic) in the last few days.

The occasion was the telecast by Doordarshan of the speech of the RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat on the October 3. I do not normally watch the idiot box, but I made an exception to hear Mohan Bhagwat, though no one can accuse me of being a paid-up member of his fan club. I found his oration eminently sensible and without any statement or stance that can be construed as objectionable by any standards. He stressed issues like good governance and standing up to China on the economic front. His critique of Western countries for the growth of global terrorism was quite unexceptionable. Therefore, what was it that was causing these drawing-room snakes to start their writhing and hissing?

I had earlier coined the term “sarkari secularists” (SS) for the wretched gang of poseurs who were comfortably ensconced in Government universities and state-funded research organisations and grossly misused their positions to promote a particular set of ideologies, and to assiduously run down our country’s ancient civilisation and culture. This twin crusade has been doing the rounds for the last 70 to 80 years. It has gathered the momentum that these movements normally generate and accumulated the usual hangers-on, who jumped on to this bandwagon in order to make their careers and fatten their purses. It was a copybook demonstration of personal financial goals, blending seamlessly with intellectual distortions and mental calisthenics.

After the cataclysmic (for this lot) events in May 2014, the term “sarkari” is no longer applicable. However, the “SS” description is too good to let go; therefore, I propose we now use it for “salon secularists”. Make no mistake, our desi SS gang is as ruthless and ideologically violent as the original Nazi German mass murderers. Certainly, the allies they have in the wider world who share their antipathy for our Vedic roots, make no bones about what they would like to do to us. The Hyderabad maniac Owaisi unwittingly let the cat out of the bag last year when he threatened in no uncertain terms about what he would like to do to those Indians who do not subscribe to the Islamic faith. The ISIS and their cohorts have lately made it very clear that they consider India to be an integral part of the Caliphate and their aim is the restoration Islam in India and the creation of an Islamic India. Islam’s unfinished agenda, in other words.

Admittedly, this is ranting on the part of demented Islamists. However, one did not hear a squeak from the Ramchandra Guhas, the Shashi Tharoors and the Abhishek Singhvis of the world when this vicious civilisational assault on India was taking place. It is evident, therefore, that these self-anointed “intellectuals” only get apocalyptical in their frenzy when Indic culture and civilisation attempt to make even the mildest statement. The target of the rage of the SS gang is not Mohan Bhagwat at all – it is the RSS that is being brought under the barrage of the SS howitzers.

I can cite innumerable instances of the Indian state machinery being used to project Islamist and Christian nuances quite overtly. I won’t even talk of the notorious Haj subsidy that the Indian taxpayers had to shell out for the last five decades (at least) to enable the Muslim faithful make their religious pilgrimage to their holy city. Thanks to the Supreme Court, this whole egregious scheme is scheduled to be eliminated in the next few years – in theory.

No, in order to compare like with like, I will talk about the notorious Iftar parties and get-togethers that were the hallmark of Indian secularism for many long years. In Delhi, these gastronomic feasts (to mark a Muslim religious occasion) were the high points of the social season for politicians, socialites and the lumpen intellectuals for decades. Even Rashtrapati Bhavan was not spared. KR Narayanan, arguably one of the most undistinguished occupants of that stately mansion, held Iftar parties on at least two occasions. On the second such occasion, I could not hide my indignation with this fake secularism and penned a piece for a Delhi daily where I was writing a fortnightly column. The essay was titled “Iftar Parties All Around: Passover Next?” and was published on the December 24, 1999.

However, to be fair to the late President Narayanan, I did not, either, spare the ruling NDA regime at that time. They got a piece of the flak too:

 “Now, one could understand the earlier Congress regime making ersatz gestures under the guise of secularism. Their entire history was one of tokenism, not just on this subject, but on the total spectrum of socio-political issues. However, the present lot cannot try this ruse and attempt to get away with it. They came to the electorate on a platform that was consciously different from the legacy of the Nehru-Gandhi clan; they have compromised on a number of subjects, largely in the economic arena but they have somehow maintained the fiction that their thinking on issues pertaining to national identity and culture is different from the Congresswallahs.

 The desi secularists also used the Rashtrapati Bhavan for Christmas Carol sessions during Zail Singh’s presidency. These performances were invariably co-ordinated and orchestrated by a whole legion of Church officials in their finery and uniform. This tamasha ensured that the Government could not possibly hide behind the fig leaf that it was an ordinary evening of music. I jocularly remarked that the good old Gyani Zail Singh’ s attention span must have wavered when the strains of Ave Maria and Silent Night wafted through the corridors of Lutyens’ magnificent mansion.

With all this history behind us, why are the SS gang hyperventilating in the event of an absolutely innocuous speech by the RSS chief on our national TV channel ? It is high time self-respecting Indians told these fellows to get off their high horses and smell the coffee. No apologies for mixing metaphors. NaMo and Prakash Javadekar – don’t bother with this lot and react to them. It is beneath your dignity.

However, your junior functionaries must tell these characters to disappear into the holes they crawled out from.